And She is Off...

     Today is a day I have both been waiting for excitedly and dreading at the same time. A few minutes ago, my youngest daughter left to be a missionary photographer at a camp several hours away from home. Having graduated earlier this month with her Associates Degree in Photography, she is beyond thrilled to have a position to hone her skills this summer.

     As I stood in the driveway watching her pull away, a family tradition, I felt so proud and honored to have spent the past almost 22 years with this amazing young woman. Christina is filled with great grace, compassion, love, and boldness. She loves the Lord and has a close walk with Him. The next three months will be filled with fun and adventure, with extreme sports being the norm, and will likely be very taxing to this petite gal. Despite her physical challenges, she carries on with great determination and great reliance upon the Lord to see her through and He is always faithful.

     I will miss Christina greatly. She is a kindred spirit, my go to gal, my friend.  Yet at the same time, I know that when God sends out, He is at work in both those He sends and in those who remain at home. My days will be full as will hers and at the end of the summer when she returns, we will both be full of stories to tell, testimonies to share, and ready to share once again those mother-daughter moments which fill the treasury of our hearts as women.

     Be blessed, my dear daughter! Enjoy this opportunity to the fullest as you delight in the Lord and His goodness. I love you!

                                                         Photo courtesy of Philip A.Prince 2012

Under the Grace

This is an amazing song by Phil Keaggy. It has ministered greatly to me and I pray it does to you.

Living with Frozen Shoulder and Rotator Cuff Tears-Part II

So what is it like on a daily basis to live with frozen shoulder and rotator cuff tears? Well, for me for the first 5 /12 months, it meant much pain, having to "sleep" in a recliner at night, many times a day putting ice on my shoulder, taking more tylenol and ibuprofen than I ever have, and having all my days run together. I say "sleep" because I got little of it, so add extreme fatigue and downright exhaustion at times to the list. I was in the words of my husband, basically an invalid- a term I refused to accept.

Yet, in some ways, his term was probably correct. I couldn't drive, and still probably shouldn't since it causes me great discomfort and pain and my shoulder is still locked. I couldn't lift anything with much weight, including a plate or a coffee cup. I am right-handed and had to eat with my left.  As for everyday tasks, I couldn't do them either. Things like washing my hair, putting my hair up, brushing my hair, getting dressed by myself. I am proud to say that this week I actually was able to do all of these things with the exception of brushing my hair-- I still don't have quite that range of motion yet. I couldn't do any housekeeping except what little I could do left-handed and did not require lifting more than 5 pounds. My hand shook so writing was out of the question and the pain from fine-motor skills like writing and typing was so severe that I shied away from them even when encouraged to do them. They are still uncomfortable, though I can manage short sessions here and there. I wish I could report otherwise, but it has been a painful and difficult journey. Even so, now that I am coming to a place of a light at the end of the tunnel so to speak, it has been a place of grace and amazement.

You ask, how could having frozen shoulder, rotator cuff tears, extreme pain and discomfort, not being able to perform the simplest of tasks, not thinking clearly, and days that in many ways seem lost forever be grace and amazing?

Well, for me I don't think I could have come through such a time without the grace and love of my caring, compassionate, loving husband and my two diligent, helpful, gracious daughters. They took care of me, waited on me, encouraged me when I needed a kind word or a "Go, sit down and rest!" They stepped up to the plate and took over the cooking, cleaning, writing, typing, getting messages out for me, and assisted me in my ministry to the children of our church and to our drama team. They have cheerfully driven me wherever I have needed to go, and poured their love out to me in ways too numerous to list. My parents, though in poor health, have been faithful to stay in touch through phone calls and funny and encouraging cards. My family, parents, and church family have kept me covered in prayer.

Though I am still in the process of healing, God has recently given me His great gift of joy. I am falling in love with Him deeper and deeper. My times with Him are precious and sweet and He encourages me. Despite the pain, the discomfort, the run-together days, He has given me grace to continue ministry with children and helped me write an original play for our drama team. My marriage is stronger because my husband has shown greater tenderness and concern during this season. My girls have proved to be responsible on a higher level and able to take on more than their share of the work along with full-time school and a part-time job for one and a full-time job for the other as well as the ministries they lead and are part of.

In the process, I have been reminded that what I have suffered has been small compared to what my Lord Jesus Christ has suffered for me. He wore a crown of thorns that cut his head and face, He was beaten so that I can be healed, He was spit on, mocked, ridiculed, and died an excruciatingly painful  death by crucifixion so I could be forgiven and be in right standing with the Father. He was separated from the Father Who for a time turned His back to His Son so that I can live with Him forever as His child. I have done nothing to deserve His mercy and grace. I never could do enough or be good enough. Yet, I am His and He is mine...

...Simply because of a gift called grace.

As always I am amazed and,
Simply Filled with Grace

Living with a Frozen Shoulder and Rotator Cuff Tears-Part I

Late last spring as I was using my mattock to put in new flower beds around our home, I noticed that my shoulder began "catching". As time progressed throughout the summer, my motion started becoming limited and I was in varying degrees of pain. By August, the pain was severe and my range of motion extremely small. So my wonderful doctor husband took the initiative and got me in for an MRI which showed I had 2 tears in my rotator cuff and a frozen shoulder, also known as adhesive capsulitis. On to the orthopedic doctor I went. I have a fantastic orthopedist--very conservative and easy going, making my visit as peaceful and pleasant as possible with such intense pain.  He had me try to lift my arm at various angles. I say try because it was a pitiful attempt. I left the office after a cortisone shot in my shoulder and a prescription for 6 weeks of physical therapy.

I had never had physical therapy so I did not know what to expect. The clinic where I go has the best therapists there are, at least in my opinion. They are all friendly, have great compassion, are very knowledgable, and continue researching ways to best take care of their patients. My initial assessment revealed that I had lost most of my mobility and motion. For those of you who have a protractor around the house, check this out. I could only lift my arm 19 degrees on one of my measurements to the side! Lifting my arm straight in front of me wasn't much better, and forget my trying to get my arm behind my back at all. It wasn't going to happen.

Frozen shoulder has 3 main stages: the freezing, the frozen, and the thawing.  I was in the freezing stage from about May through at least part, if not all, of September and into early October. It's hard to remember as all my days ran together. For me, it meant excruciating pain whether I was still or moving. I have never felt pain so severe; for me it was worse than broken bones or childbirth. The closest thing it came to was when I had my big toenail kicked off and every morning when I got up the blood rushed to the wound with intense prickling pain. Well, this was worse because there are many nerves in the shoulder area. In addition to the pain, I suffered many muscle cramps in my arm.  My therapists were great at this stage-they pushed me, but respected the fact that I had great pain and did not overdo it.

I went back to my orthopedist in September and I thought I had made decent progress. I was in a little less pain, and could lift my arm slightly higher. I still couldn't do much other than ice my shoulder, but I felt I was getting better. I think at that point, he was skeptical. He said I could continue therapy for 6 more weeks, but if things weren't significantly improved, he might have to help me--aka surgery for the frozen shoulder. As far as the rotator cuff tears, I was not to lift over 5 pounds, which wasn't a problem as I couldn't even lift a coffee cup at that time. He felt my tears were relatively small and though they could take a year or two or three to be completely healed, he felt that was a better option than surgery.

Back to my therapists I went. My therapy became more aggressive and more uncomfortable, but thankfully not more than I could bear. They gave me exercises to do at home, which I did faithfully. In fact, a little too faithfully. I have been one to think that if a little does a little good then much will do much good. Wrong! In this case, I was working against myself and hindering my progress because my muscles were overdoing it. When my therapists learned I was overdoing it, they kindly explained I was making things worse as far as progress than if I backed off and only exercised and stretched 2-3 times per day instead of my 4-6 times. I so wanted to be better and NOT have surgery. So I trusted my therapists and backed off and I started making better progress. Then I hit a plateau with only a couple more weeks before I went to my orthopedic doctor. So I prayed and asked for prayer.

And... all of a sudden one day I had breakthrough! My motion increased, I had multiple adhesions break, and I was able to add more exercises which I am now doing. I went back to my doctor this week and he gave me a big smile and the news I had so wanted--I don't need surgery! I do need at least 7-8 more weeks of therapy and then we reassess. I am thrilled to say the least!

For those of you who may be experiencing frozen shoulder and a rotator cuff tear, I encourage you to check it out sooner than later. I waited much longer than I should have, but I kept thinking it would get better. Find a knowledgable and conservative doctor--it is amazing what therapy, doing one's exercises, and a good attitude, along with prayer can accomplish. I am thankful to not have to have surgery, but sometimes it is necessary. Since I haven't gone through that experience my only advice is to pray, get a peace about it, and find a great orthopedist as I have and trust him or her.

In my next post, I will continue with the practical aspects of living with a frozen shoulder and rotator cuff tears.

Until then, I am,
Simply Filled with Grace

Simply Grace

Simply Grace.

What does that mean? For one thing, Grace is a beautiful name. In addition to the actual name Grace, there are names that mean grace such as Hannah and Anne. One of the meanings of my name, Cheryl, means filled with grace.

Grace also refers to easy flowing movement. Picture a beautiful dancer gliding across the floor--her movements making the dance look effortless.

Grace is what some people call the blessing before a meal. 

Undeserved kindness is another definition. That is, kindness I do not deserve, but that I am given freely. It can come from family, friends, acquaintances, and God. Grace is also an acronym: God's Riches Through Christ's Expense.

Yet, is grace simple? Well, yes, in that it is clear and candid-it is what it is without us adding anything to it. Grace is not based on our performance and we cannot earn it whether from a person or from God. It is given with no strings attached. The word "simply" refers to solely, only, merely. Solely Grace, Only Grace, Merely Grace. That pretty much sums up all the good that has happened in my life:

It is by grace I have been saved through faith--and this not from myself, it is the gift of God-- not by works, so that I cannot boast.- Ephesians 2:8-9.

Grace and peace are abundant to me through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord.-2 Peter 1:2

God's grace overflows to many, me included-Romans 5:15 and we gain access to this grace through our faith in Jesus Christ-Romans 5:1-2.

There is much more to be said about grace. It is simple, yet it is complex to wrap our minds around all that it means and the implications and applications for our lives. In further posts, I will continue to explore aspects of grace. In the meantime, I challenge you to study, explore, and take time to ponder the meaning of grace and how it has or can change your life.
                                                                                                     
Until next time I live my life,
  Simply filled with Grace